My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
