The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize