I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
where are you?
Hypothermia
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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