On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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