420 ftw
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had sex on a roof
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
