Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So many bounce houses so little time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think your dad took our porno
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
