Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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