I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
