her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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