i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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