I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So many bounce houses so little time
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
