we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
