the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
