yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize
