The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize