great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
