My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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