i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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