remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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