Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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