Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
