i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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