she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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