i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
