in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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