she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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