on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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