his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
