did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
