When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
