if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Panties = found
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
