I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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