Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize