can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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