But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
