I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
