i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
