Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If he isnβt into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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