Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize