clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
