6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
