so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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