i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Randomize
