No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
