watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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