I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
