More tranny stories later!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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