morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
COCAINE IS GR8
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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