so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
