If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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