Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
