My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
