I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
