The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
