My room smells like vodka and shame
Fuck appropriateness.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Damn victory sex feels great
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
