and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize