what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
