these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Semen is not good for contacts.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
