A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
