Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
