It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize