Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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