i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
