scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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