I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
