There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
