Well apparently he's into motor boating.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
